You may feel like you communicate just fine normally, but communication during sexual intimacy is a whole other ballgame! Even the slightest request may be interpreted as criticism. The way you deal with something you don’t like at all may never even get addressed because you feel there is no way it can come across as friendly or loving. How are you showing up for your sexual encounter? Maybe you experience physical pain with what you are doing. (If so, stop whatever is causing you pain immediately. Forcing it could make matters much worse.) At some point, a new position won’t cut the stagnation either. How are you viewing sex that gets in your own way of having a marvelous sexual relationship? Do you feel your partner gives you equal attention? Affairs are born of all kinds of poor self-regulation (how you manage yourself emotionally). Do you know your own vulnerabilities? What if you want to create a different relationship structure or agreement? How do you do that? Why is it so hard to re-start a sexual relationship after a baby is born? What can you expect as you grow older? Whatever your questions are, they are good questions. No one’s 5th-grade sex education class, word of mouth gossip, or blind hit and miss strategy gets anyone very far! —especially as your sexual connection is a moving target over the course of an entire marriage, and your developmental stages will require much more of you.
Whether you are marriage partners or business partners (or both!), communication goes wrong when you lose connection with your partner. So how do you reconnect? You’ve heard of the communication skills of listening plenty before….blah-blah-blah—yes listening is important for sure, but with Transition By Design, you’ll learn how to connect with your partner confidently again with advanced skills and results that go way beyond listening. Envision smoothly and calmly dialing into those advanced skills and ending up knowing, appreciating your partner more deeply. NOW you’ll have the option of clarifying a joint empathy for what’s really important, and a problem-solving ability that escaped you so many times before!
What can you do as an individual? Even as just an individual, there is a lot you can do about deciding how you will show up as your best self, to influence your relationship in a positive direction. In the process, what else is in it for you? You’ll dramatically increase your own confidence in relationships going forward!
Connection and Advanced Communication Skills are not just for the lucky few!
BREACH OF TRUST
Believing a relationship problem will go away on its own or providing premature and shallow apologies doesn’t go very far in re-establishing trust, especially in the face of marital indiscretion, or a betrayal by a business partner. How can you stabilize a relationship in crisis when you don’t really know what happened to get you there? Or you no longer can trust what was really real in your relationship? Transition By Design can help you realize a clear path forward. Imagine having difficult conversations confidently in a productive way, while actually still being able to be supportive of your partner’s efforts in re-building that trust—yes, accountability included! No trust No relationship. Trust is that fundamental to relationships. Imagine making real and meaningful repairs with a multi-faceted process that supports the repair going forward and getting to know your partner all the more deeply for it. Don’t give up too soon. Often, partners are breaking up just as they can be on the verge of really making up. Give your Transition By Design work a shot and ALL your relationships will benefit.
Life is kind of funny that way: you’ll have more opportunities to learn those lessons if you don’t learn them now. (Actually, it’s not funny at all, reliving the same pain with the next significant relationship, like Ground Hog Day.)
SEXUAL INTIMACY ISSUES
Desire Discrepancy is only one example of your sexual encounters being a moving target over the course of an entire marriage. Do you feel like your spouse has become just a roommate? Or that you, yourself, have become mired in sameness and just go through the motions? There are stages of development in every couple’s relationship which, when stuck, create an invisible barrier against couples having the intimacy they wish. Eventually, you are bound to discover that you are different from each other, and that all the wishing in the world won’t change the other, and that really, you can only change yourself. Envision navigating those differences while expanding your relationship physically and emotionally! Willingness, Libido, Pain, Arousal, Orgasm, and Relationship Satisfaction, any or all, can be addressed. There are solution options for virtually any issue. You and your partner will be central in discovering them. And guess what? The whole range of differences are what NORMAL people experience in their long-term partnerships! Imagine the renewed inspiration that enlightened non-judgment and refreshing perspectives can provide each of you!
Magnificent sex isn’t born; it evolves with the Differentiation Stage and the advanced skills of the couple.
Attending Couples Relational Coaching Alone
What can you do as an individual when your partner is not willing to join you in couples sessions? You can take the lead and begin doing the couple’s work yourself! An individual process is also highly recommended (even in addition to a couple’s process) to define yourself and sort through personal issues in preparation for dealing with them with your partner. See also “How do I Decide Which Process to Start With?” on the Couples tab.
Imagine feeling so much more confident about yourself going forward!
What I Can Help You With
Early Years of Marriage
After the Baby Is Born
Sex Issues as You Grow Older
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